Sunday, August 26, 2012

Looking at the woman in the mirror, self reflection

  This week I was asked on a scale of 1-10 and 10 being optimal wellbeing where I rate my physical, spiritual and psychological well-being.  After deep reflection and consideration I think I'm only half way there in all three catagories.  My physical health can be better, I need to loss some weight about 30 pounds, I need to increase my core strenght, my endurance and stamina.  My spirituality is in it's infancy stages, I know right from wrong and I have always been compelled to do what was right and do no harm.  However, I still have struggles with things when I feel that I have been hurt, disrespected or wronged.  I have recently given my life to Christ, and have leaned on his understanding and relied on his strength to help me get through the things described earlier.  I am still learning what his word means and how to use it in my life.  I'm learning how to love again, to see things with fresh eyes, but not being naive about the world.  Psychologically I know I need improvement, I just came through something pretty traumatic and I still have some mental scares.  However, with the teachings from this class, and what I'm learning in church the scares are starting to fade.
     Things that have happened in my life have made it hard for me now as an adult to trust people and let them in my life.  I also have a fear of judgement, and small places.  Through the things I'm currently learning I know that fear is not of good and it is detremental to a whole life.  I'm working to rid myself of these fears by learning to love myself and letting go of the need to control my environment at all times and trusting in others in ways that normally I would not.  Growth is my short term goal in all these areas, my long term is to be healed.  I plan to continue to go to church on Sunday and want to start bible study on Wednesday nights.  I'm currently going to the gym and I want to continue the weight training and maybe add some yoga and/or zumba.  I think that I will continue to do meditation exercises, like what we are doing in class.
     This weeks exercise was really enjoyable.  It seems the more I do them the easier the visualization gets.  This exercise asked use to focus on our breaths, and see colors that related to the shakra points as it explained what each represented.  If I had a hard time seeing a color I would think of something in that color and then I would be able to maintain it until prompted to move on.  I was completely relaxed and almost in a hypnotic state.  It took me a few minutes to realize my son had even entered the room.  I was amazed at how deeply I was tuned into the voice I was hearing and my breathing.  I'm sold, I will make this a part of my life, the benefits are that I feel relaxed, energized, and I haven't stopped smiling since.  

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